{"id":748,"date":"2023-03-02T21:36:20","date_gmt":"2023-03-03T03:36:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/2023\/03\/02\/done-with-online-dating\/"},"modified":"2025-10-05T17:27:34","modified_gmt":"2025-10-05T22:27:34","slug":"done-with-online-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/?p=748","title":{"rendered":"Done with Online Dating"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

For the past two years, since moving out of state for PA school, I have been off and on online dating. Like many, I find it hard to meet men in real life especially with the demand of PA school so figured I give it a go. Two years later and I\u2019m calling it quits lol. I\u2019m not sure if it\u2019s the apps I\u2019m using, but I have noticed a pattern with the men I meet online and that being the utter lack of taking interest in getting to know me. Now some may argue, \u201cthis is hook up culture and he\u2019s probably just interested in hooking up<\/em>\u201d and to that I would say, yes, I agree this could be a possibility. However, these are men that I make it clear from the jump I do not partake in hook up culture and date with intentions of finding my life partner. \u201cHe\u2019s just not that interested<\/em>\u201d, this very well could also be a possibility. Interestingly, a couple of the men I tried to end things with expressed wanting to fight for it with the last man expressing \u201c[he] didn\u2019t want to give up on me<\/em>\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I recognize I tend to quickly end potential relationships if I notice BS behavior in early stages of the connection, so with both of these men I was open to giving it another chance. However, I was reminded why I don\u2019t give multiple chances early on in the dating phase. That being, if there are issues that early on in the aka \u201choneymoon phase\u201d than likely those issues are foreshadowing how the relationship will be. Additionally, somethings are just non-negotiable, such as inconsistency or the man just wanting to text. Men that express also wanting to date with intentions I\u2019m finding only want to talk about themselves with apparent actions showing they are uninterested in getting to know me. I\u2019ve also encountered the man that is giving \u201cemotionally unavailable\u201d and \u201cavoidant attachment\u201d or worse the man with narcissistic traits. I don\u2019t want to become jaded, but it gets harder the longer I\u2019m on online dating. I question, \u201care these behaviors a reflection of modern society or is this limited to the pool of men online<\/em>\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

For instance, I came across a man\u2019s page\u2026age: 38, height: 6\u20197, occupation: model. Guess what his Hinge voice prompt question was, \u201cDo you agree or disagree I\u2019m one of the most handsom<\/em>e men you\\’ve seen<\/em>\u201d\u2026What??? Eye roll, he models for a living, surely he knows he\\’s attractive… or the man who texted me \u201chopefully you don\u2019t burn the bridge with us to where we can actually meet and date<\/em>\u201d after I confronted HIM about flaking on ME. What???<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If anything, online dating is teaching me to speak up and call bullshit when I see it. It\\’s teaching me to let my boundaries be known and confronting men if they are crossed. It\\’s teaching me to lean into my intuition because some men will say anything to get what they want. Okay, at this point I\u2019m clearly venting haha, but the vanity and lack of transparency I\u2019m coming across is absolutely mind boggling and for these reasons I\u2019m throwing in the online dating towel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No relationship is easy, but I realize with the right person there won\u2019t be confusion in dating. Actions will align with words. Instead of adding stress to your life, the right person brings peace. I\u2019ve experienced a relationship like this, where more time is spent laughing and having fun with each other than the stress. When issues ocurr you both talk about it instead of one person doing the emotional labor and the other avoiding. The right person holds you accountable and inspires you to be a better version of yourself and vice versa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the relationship does not bring this, I don\u2019t want it. As a person who considered herself a helpless romantic, I have to say sis is tapping out in the dating department for now. I know I know \u201cbeing intentional in dating<\/em>\u201d was one of my goals for 2023, well I\u2019m redefining \u201cintentional<\/em>\u201d to mean I am open to receive what is meant for me. I\u2019m focusing on the things in life that bring me joy, such as spending time family and friends, hobbies, career goals and continuous self-improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stay blessed. Remember, you are loved \u2764\ufe0f<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For the past two years, since moving out of state for PA school, I have been off and on online dating. Like many, I find it hard to meet men in real life especially with the demand of PA school so figured I give it a go. Two years later and I\u2019m calling it quits…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[131],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-748","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t