{"id":169,"date":"2018-11-01T22:00:54","date_gmt":"2018-11-02T04:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/2018\/11\/01\/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends\/"},"modified":"2018-11-01T22:00:54","modified_gmt":"2018-11-02T04:00:54","slug":"can-men-and-women-just-be-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/?p=169","title":{"rendered":"Can Men And Women Just Be Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Harry<\/strong>: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally<\/strong>: So, you\u2019re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry<\/strong>: No, you pretty much want to nail \u2019em too.
Sally<\/strong>: What if they don\u2019t want to have sex with you?
Harry<\/strong>: Doesn\u2019t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally<\/strong>: Well, I guess we\u2019re not going to be friends then.
Harry<\/strong>: Guess not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t know where the above dialect comes from I suggest you get your life. No seriously, stop reading and get your life lol. Okay, I\u2019ll give you a pass this time, but you get the side eye. The dialect is from the movie When Harry Met Sally<\/em> one of my favorites\u2764 and an absolute romantic comedy classic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, Harry had an interesting. If we remove religion from the discussion, to keep it neutral for argument purposes, and take on a science perspective he makes some interesting points.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

By Design<\/strong><\/p>\n

Men and women are not designed to just be friends. We are designed to procreate like everything else in the world. When I speak of procreation I am not restricting it to consciously wanting to reproduce and have a child, but it also involves subconsciously wanting to reproduce. Thus, by designed, whether it be consciously or subconsciously we have the driving force to want to reproduce. Why else would we have reproductive organs? Some may argue for pleasure? However, if our reproductive organs were solely for pleasure, then they would have been designed to function solely for pleasure. Yet, that is not their only function. However, to reach the goal of procreation it is necessary for us to form loving relationships with the opposite sex, with friendship being the default.<\/p>\n

When we try to \u201cjust be friends\u201d with the opposite sex usually someone will eventually start liking the other allowing for two options: (a) Suppress the feelings<\/em><\/strong>\u2014Never act on them with hopes they will eventually go away; (b) Act on them<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Neither action is wrong. If you do happen to act on them and the feelings are not reciprocated the person has two options: (a) Suppress the feelings<\/em><\/strong>\u2014Accept the fact it will never lead to anything outside of friendship and eventually move on, but continue being friends; (b) Move on<\/em><\/strong>\u2014Accept the fact it will never lead to anything and unfriend them or distance oneself.<\/p>\n

Once again, neither action is wrong. If a friend does decide to move on through ending the friendship or distancing themselves I personally think it is unfair to get upset at that friend. If that is what they feel is best for their psyche that decision should be respected.<\/p>\n

Do I and have I had male friends yes lol, but the friendship works because (a) neither one of use is attracted to the other or (b) they have done one of the two I mentioned above. Yes, I have had a few male friends decide the take the path of distancing themselves and although it hurt losing a friend, I respected their decision.<\/p>\n

That One Scenario<\/strong><\/p>\n

The one scenario where I have found it possible to be friends with the opposite sex is when both parties find each other unattractive. <\/em><\/p>\n

People like to downplay attraction, but physical attraction is very important when it comes to having a romantic relationship with someone (this topic alone is worthy of its own post, but I digress). Thus, if two people are unattractive to each other it\u2019s easy to default to friendship. Remember there are two options lovers or \u201cfriends\u201d. And this can go both ways.<\/p>\n

You can be mentally attracted to someone, but not physically attracted to them, thus placing them in the \u201cfriend zone\u201d. Sound familiar men. You can be physically attracted to someone, but not emotionally\/mentally (or from my experience emotionally\/mentally unavailable) placing them in the \u201cfriend zone\u201d. Sound familiar ladies \\”gray area\\”. We\u2019ve all been here.<\/p>\n

So back to the original question can men and women just be friends?
And the answer is\u2014it depends.<\/p>\n

Side note I purposely left religion out of this argument to keep it neutral. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with finding a friend attractive and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not finding a friend attractive. Anyway I just wanted to share my thoughts, feel free to share yours.<\/p>\n

[youtube https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=iEV_pQIf3Og&w=520&h=275]<\/p>\n

I love this movie!<\/p>\n

Stay blessed. Remember, you are loved\u00a0\u2764\ufe0f<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.Sally: So, you\u2019re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail \u2019em too.Sally: What if they don\u2019t want to have sex with…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[47,48,61,79,97],"class_list":["post-169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-home","tag-friendship","tag-friendzone","tag-love","tag-relationships","tag-when-harry-met-sally"],"aioseo_notices":[],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"nucleare-normal-post":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Julia","author_link":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/?author=1"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.Sally: So, you\u2019re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail \u2019em too.Sally: What if they don\u2019t want to have sex with…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=169"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oohjulie.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}