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What Emotional Safety Means to Me

For a long time, I thought relationships were just about chemistry and compatibility. However, over the years and honestly, through a lot of trial and error I’ve learned that what really makes or breaks a relationship is something deeper: emotional safety.

Emotional safety is what allows people to show up as their true selves, to be vulnerable, and to trust that they won’t be shamed, judged, invalidated or manipulated.

When I feel emotionally safe, I can exhale. I can be myself without overthinking, without bracing for criticism, without worrying that I’ll be punished for being honest. But when I don’t feel safe? I shut down. I hide pieces of myself. I shrink. I withdrawal. I give up.

As I continue my self-healing journey, I’m learning what emotional safety means to me—the ways I’d like to receive it and the ways I hope to provide it to my future life partner.

Here are a few practices one can consider when build emotional safety:

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The Power of Simply Showing Up in Therapy

It was almost midnight, and I found myself lying in bed, debating whether I should cancel my therapy appointment—again. I hadn’t done my therapy homework, and shame was creeping in. Part of me wondered: “Maybe I’m not ready for therapy. Maybe I should just quit.”

That thought wasn’t new. I have a habit of giving up when things get hard. It’s a pattern I know well: when the weight of expectations gets heavy, I look for an exit. Ironically, this very tendency is the reason I went back to therapy in the first place.

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